Shahrukh Khan's operation successful

Shahrukh Khan has been successfully operated on his shoulder and is already on his way home from the Breach Candy Hospital in South Mumbai. The doctors have advised him rest for at least a month and a half. But then the good news is that he will be able to bounce and jump and tumble like before after the shoulder heals completely. Well, that's good news for his fans.
I just wondered that recently, Shahrukh Khan has not been going through the best in life, you know. I mean, what with most of his films getting flak and not registering a decent opening even, Shahrukh Khan has surely been on the back foot since the last couple of years.
I guess, that's just a phase like a Sachin Tendulkar not making runs for a short period of time. I'm sure, Shahrukh Khan too will bounce back like a Sachin Tendulkar and make some good films for all his fans. Here's wishing him a speedy recovery.
Get well soon Shahrukh.

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Tom Cruise wants to act in Bollywood

Can you imagine the scenario? Tom Cruise, Leonardo Di Caprio, Kate Winslet, etc, all romancing our Desi actresses and singing songs and dancing around trees? Well, it's not a fantasy anymore, after what Slumdog has done to India.
Recently heard, Tom Cruise showed an interest in acting in a typical Bollywood film. Well, Tom, you are more than welcome. But you need to know that there are some rules to be followed to be a Bollywood actor and this goes for all the stars from Hollywood who want to be part of our Desi Bollywood. Here's the list:
1. You will have to learn to resist yourself from kissing your hero/heroine at the drop of a hat. Not done in India... and yeah, forget love making scenes forever.
2. You have to know how to say the word 'maa' for common dialogue like 'maa kasam', 'teri maa ki', 'mere paas maa hai', etc...
3. You absolutely must learn how to reach late on the sets for shooting. You MUST NOT reach on time for the simple reason that no one would be expecting you at the time you have been called. Go figure.
4. You have to learn to dance.
5. You need to learn the art of hamming. For this you can join any one of our acting schools like Anupam Kher's school or many such who are hammers themselves, hence the best teachers of hamming.
6. You have to get used to the fact that you will get your lines and scene right before you get in front of the camera. So don't even bother to ask for a full script before or after the shooting of the film.
These are just some of the points to keep in mind before embarking on the Bollywood journey. There are many more ideas and suggestions which you will be provided with from time to time.

Meanwhile, if any of you readers have any more suggestions for our Hollywood heroes and heroines then please feel free to send your suggestions. You can write them in the 'comments' colummn. Thank you.

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Dev D. Emotional Athyachaar: A Review

Film: Dev D
Cast: Abhay Deol, Mahie Gill, Kalki Koechelin, Dibyendu Bhattacharya
Director: Anurag Kashyap
Writer: Vikramaditya Motwane, Anurag Kashyap
Rating: ***

I was at a party the other night at a friend's place when the DJ played the song, 'Emosanal Athyachaar'. I was high on booze and I danced to that song. It's a fantastic song when you are high. I decided then that I will watch this film if not then only for this song. So, I saw the film, Dev D, which was touted as Anurag Kashyap's version of the infamous Devdas written a long time ago by

Sarathchandra Chattopadhyay

. I just wished I was high while watching the film too. Maybe then I would have appreciated the film much more. Alas! It was not to be.
I respect Anurag Kashyap a lot, you know. I like the rebel in him but sometimes I wonder whether it is all a pretense, all a facade, a marketing gimmick. Dev D brings about all these emotions in a person, at least it did in me. There were moments in the film which I thought were brilliant, but then again there were moments which I felt were a little too 'in your face' where the director wanted to shout- 'look what I can do'. Reminds me of the childhood times when one used to ride a bicycle and one used to leave the hands from the handle and shout, 'look ma, no hands' or the time when one sulked for no reason just so that mumma could come and shower her attention on you. It always worked then. Dev D has got many such moments and it worked here too.

In trying to shock the audience, sometimes Dev D ventures into fantasy territory. Anyone who has seen the 'real' life in Delhi will know what 'real' is. Of course when you look at it on a macro level, the film is a spoof on the earlier Devdas made before this. Anurag shows visuals of Sanjay Leela Bhansali's Devdas on TV at more than 2 occasions. I think that was a very mediocre idea. (Definitely didn't expect this of Anurag)
Then there are many such incidents in the film which even a layman would notice because the director wants him to notice it like the scene where Vodka is poured from a bottle into a glass and Dev drinks it neat. (why?)
'Arre, real mein daaru peeya hai re' was a common comment by at least two people in the audience who obviously knew a thing or two about alcohol. Then the name of the pimp-Chunni. Well, again, spoofish.

The laughter came wherever there was a tongue in cheek reference to the earlier films on Devdas, which was again a little bit of a disappointment.

In trying to retell the story by setting it in modern times, Anurag has definitely managed to create a buzz around the film and probably managed to create something better than Sanjay Leela's Devdas but in the bargain, maybe he has gone a little over board with the sensationalizing of incidents happening in Dev's life. For example, Chanda's MMS scandal and the eventual massacre of footpath dwellers run over by Dev's BMW. Both these incidents are so mainstream commercial that one wonders whether it is a part of this neo-realistic noir film or is it some kind of an after thought.

I want to like this film and probably I did too, but I won't rule out the confusion alltogether too.
The main reason for this is I couldn't categorize the film- Was it a spoof? Or was it parallel cinema? Was it neo realism, or Noir? Or was it a plain mainstream commercial film?
Maybe this confusion was supposed to be part of this film too.

Well, it doesn't really matter what I think because a film of this nature will always have diverse reactions from the audience. Some have loved it and some have hated it. Yet some others have been non judgemental. Maybe this is success for the film.

'Last mein marra bhi nahin, saala' commented a member of an audience out of 15 in a far suburban multiplex of Mumbai, while leaving the cinema hall. Yet another said, 'Koi Anurag Kashyap ko roko bhai'

Everyone had a good laugh but of course I don't agree with him.
I think we need an Anurag Kashyap as much as we need a Karan Johar or a Aditya Chopra in this 'Dev D' kind of world of Hindi Movies called Bollywood.

All I can say is that I had gone prepared for an emosanal athyachaar on my mental faculties but I guess, I got lucky and came out intact unlike the earlier 'No Smoking' by the same director where one lost all sense of reality and sensibility. Well, that for another day maybe.

Ciao!

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Shahrukh Khan, Barbers and Billo

Shahrukh Khan is trying the barber trick too, maybe after watching Aamir Khan use barbers to promote his film Ghajini. Aamir Khan had earlier used barbers to cut the hair of ushers of a cinema hall in Ghajini style (it was all the more significant when the cinema hall used was the same one where Shahrukh was having his premiere of Rab ne Bana Di Jodi)
This time Shahrukh is calling about 400 barbers from all over Maharashtra to witness the premiere of his next film, Billo Barber.
Incidentally, Billo Barber has Irfan Khan as the hero and Shahrukh playing a super star actor (himself). It is a story of the friendship between a barber and a super star actor loosely inspired by the friendship of Krishna and Sudama. Lara Dutta plays the wife of Irfan who lusts after Shahrukh Khan the superstar actor, which apparently creates rift between Irfan and Shahrukh.
This film is a remake from some south film. Incidentally, the Tamil version with Rajnikanth as hero bombed very badly in the south. Let's see what Shahrukh Khan can do with the Hindi version. Although I think Shahrukh should do something creative and novel as far as the promotion of the film is concerned or... call Aamir for tips on marketing rather than trying to copy his acts.
Hope, all these barbers manage to cut ice with the audience though.
Till it releases, I think I'll go get a hair cut too.

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The Real Reason for the Akki-SRK fight at a Party

It has been so long since there has been any decent gossip in Bollywood. Well, here it is. The place: Preity Zinta's Birthday Party Bash. This girl has some cheek. She invited both Shahrukh and Akshay Kumar for her party.
Well, both did agree to come but both tried to avoid each other like the bird flu, trying to adjust their arrival and departure in such a way that both did not meet at the party.
So, last seen both of them were driving around in circles outside Preity's house and their drivers were calling each other up to ask where they had reached. Both the drivers were also instructed to give false reports about their whereabouts. So they roamed around in circles till it was midnight and Preity decided to call both of them.
'Where the hell are you, Akki?'
'Oh, I'm with Twinkle and just around the corner. You know how much time Twinkle takes to get ready'
'Where are you SRK?
'Oh, I'm in my bathroom getting ready. You know how much time it takes me to get ready. Gauri must be ready to kill me. I'll be there in a short while'

Still both are going around in circles urging their drivers to find out exactly where each one was.
The drivers speak to each other.
'Where have you reached?'
'Where have you reached?'
'I have almost reached the party'
'Oh, okay, we have also almost reached'
'Then I think I shall wait till you are ready to go'
'No, no, I think we will wait until you are ready to go'
'No'
'No'

Finally at around 3 past midnight, when Aamir Khan was leaving the party, he saw SRK in the parking lot with his driver sleeping. Aamir asks SRK, 'why are you here? the party is almost over'
SRK says, 'Oh, I was about to go in...'
SRK goes inside.
As Aamir drives his car towards the entrance, he sees Akshay Kumar standing besides his car and even his driver sleeping. Aamir asks him the same question and Akshay feeling embarrassed asks him if SRK was there, to which Aamir replies that he had left long time ago. Akshay Kumar too enters the party.
So now you know who caused the fight between SRK and Akki that night.
Tch! Tch!

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Rab Ne Bana Di Picture: A Review

Film: Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi
Cast: Shahrukh Khan, Anushka Sharma, Vinay Pathak
Director: Aditya Chopra
Writer: Aditya Chopra
Rating: ***********

This film will go down as the best Scifi film in the history of Indian Cinema and Bollywood. It is a film of absolute fantasy and creative imagination shown by the writer and director who incidentally are the same person- Aditya Chopra. This film will be compared to the likes of E.T., Star Wars and The Jurassic Park for the sheer brilliance of thought. I mean, who could have imagined such a plot? Just with one moustache and a pair of spectacles, the hero's own wife doesn't recognize him. Wow! Hats off to Aditya Chopra and Shahrukh Khan for thinking of such a magnificient fantasy film.
Set in the future (or was it the past?) a not-so-young geek of a person marries a slut of a woman and then goes on to fall in love with her. But he cannot reveal his true self to her which is a flamboyant and outgoing human being hidden deep within himself. So he pretends to be her dancing partner and prays that she falls in love with the geek (which is again himself).
Weird, I know, but then all Scifi films are a little weird.
The icing on the cake is when the slut, sorry, his wife, falls in love with the dude (which is actually her own husband in disguise) and that too without any guilt feelings within. Now, the dude knows that she has fallen in love with him but the dude when he turns into a geek wants her to fall in love with him (the geek). But ultimately when the wife is no longer interested in the geek and she chases the dude, the geek feels bad and turns into a dude who feels worse. Then the dude tries to create situations where she falls in love with the geek but the wife is interested in the dude, which the geek knows and becomes more sad, but when he turns into a dude, he feels elated and romances around with her. But then he is actually the geek, so he can't be happy all the time. Vinay Pathak's character tries to decipher this mixed feelings of emotion within the same character (the dude and the geek) but fails and gives up as he is too confusde himself to make sense to the geek (or the dude).
What? You did not understand?
Aww, you are so dumb. How can you not understand such a simple story? Maybe it is a little too ahead of it's times. I'm sure after about 20 years people are going to see this film and realize what a genius stroke the story was. This film will definitely go down as a classic story of the beginning of the 21st century.
Everyone should watch this film for the way the director and the actor has made it believable for the audience that indeed the future will be like this where people will not know who they are or what actually makes them happy.
But wait, the picture is baaki yet...
There is a huge twist in the end- The hero is not a human at all, he is God (Rab) and the heroine comes to know of this fact.
What a twist! Whew! Amazing movie, amazing storytelling, amazing characters, amazing heroine, amazing everything.

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, ek gadha, ek ghodi...

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Ghajini Tragedy: Movie Review

Film: Ghajini
Cast: Aamir Khan, Asin, Jiah Khan, Pradeep Rawat
Director: A.R. Murugadoss
Writer: A.R. Murugadoss
Rating:***

They say a lot of things can happen in your dreams and it all feels so real. One such dream happened to me recently. I saw a whole film in my dreams and you know what it was a kind of a miracle. It was a Tamil film by the name of Ghajini and guess what? I have suddenly started to understand the Tamil language fluently. To top it, it had Aamir Khan in it.
(Snigger)
The kind of things one can imagine in one's dreams is not funny. Aamir Khan has full on 'acted' in this one. The story is supposed to be a thriller but it seems more romantic and comedy. Everything is predictable yet everything is entertaining about the film. Things were illogical but surprisingly one did not mind them being illogical. In fact, one was left asking for more such stuff even after the mammoth film ended a good 3 hours later.'

Well, miracles never cease to happen. Imagine, a Tamil film with Aamir Khan in it and you understand the whole damn thing and even enjoy it thouroughly.

I wake up from my dream and the world is the same old routine again. Aamir's latest film has earned a lot of money- 235 crores worlwide. Wow! Taare Zameen Par really rocks.

Hey, wait. The computer is playing funny again. It is showing the date as 2009. Hehehe! The doctor is coming. He will once again blabber about me losing my memory since last year and all that crap. Oh, how I wish Aamir would make his next film soon. Hehe...maybe he might name it Ghajini... you never know... sometimes dreams also come true, you know...

Did I just finish writing this post or am I beginning to write it?
Feeling funny...I think I'll take a break.

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Slumdog Musings

One just can't get enough of Slumdog Millionaire. Everything and everyone involved with the film have suddenly become mighty busy what with the media keeping a watch on their every move. Last heard Dev Patel and Freida Pinto were really getting cozy somewhere in a public place. Hmm...is it publicity or...?

Meanwhile, Freida is being trained to walk on the red carpet at the Oscars by none other than Kate Winslet. Can you believe that? Lucky girl. Although Dev Patel would have loved to be trained by Kate Winslet.

In all these accolades and glory lies also a story which is not so rosy. There was a recent controversy that the kids who played the younger versions of Jamal and Salim and Latika were not paid enough. But from what I have heard is that they have been paid much more than they would have earned here in Mumbai and also their education is being taken care of by the producers. It is actually the fathers of the children who are trying to create some sort of situation to rake in more moolah from them so that they can take care of their needs and luxuries. There is one solution actually- why not someone from the production company adopt these children and take them to England or America or wherever where they might still have a chance to make something of their lives because here in the slums of Mumbai, I doubt whether they are even going to remember about this film when they grow up. (remember the child star from Mira Nair's Salaam Bombay? no? don't worry nobody does)

Also there were some groups who have objected of using the word 'dog' in the title. Now, how stupid can one get? It is a fantastic interpretation of the word, 'Underdog', used so magnificiently in the title that one should be lauding the minds who thought of this brilliant title. But no, this is India, boss.

You know, Shahrukh Khan was offered the role of Prem Kumar (Anil Kapoor)? But he refused and now we hear that he is pulling his hair in despair at making the wrong choices everytime at the right time when he is supposed to make the right choice. For example, Munnabhai MBBS & Lagaan. Sorry Shahrukh, once is bad luck, twice is tough luck, but thrice is pure blunder and stupidity on your part. Well, Anil Kapoor is having the last laugh now- a Big laugh too (saw him at the Golden Globe Awards?)

Here's wishing AR Rehman all the luck so that he can bring back glory to Indian shores (read- the Oscar trophy).

There was a question raised somewhere- asking whether we Indians were obssessed with the Oscars. I am beginning to think that we just might be. I dunno, I maybe wrong.
Till the next update on Slumdog Millionaire....

Jai ho!

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Filmy Luck By Chance: A Review

Film: Luck By Chance
Cast: Farhan Akhtar, Konkana Sen Sharma, Hritik Roshan, Aamir Khan, Shahrukh Khan, Rishi Kapoor, Dimple Kapadia, Juhi Chawla, etc.
Rating: **/*

This film is a classic example of why they say there is a dearth of ideas in Bollywood. Everyone who has the resources and the backing to make a film is so entwined in the midst of the film world that there is nothing the person has seen outside of it to make a reasonably decent film on people in general. Zoya Akhtar has obviously not seen the world outside of her filmy duniya. Hence, 'Luck By Chance' which is qunitessentially about the insider world behind the glamour and glitz of films.
Actually the film is good in parts but it is too predicatble and not very revealing about the real world behind the cameras. One wishes that Zoya would have been brave enough to actually unravel some real secrets of Bollywood but alas! she didn't.
Farhan Akhtar is first rate as an actor and he has it in him to become a force to reckon with on the acting front. Konkana is her Page3 self again here-the exploited martyr who never gets what she dreams of. Hritik is playing himself and the others like Rishi Kapoor and Dimple Kapadia are just about good (They have given much better performances earlier too so it is no surprise that they have done justice to their characters).
All in all, Luck By Chance is watchable only for Farhan Akhtar. Also one wonders if this film could have been what it is without the super stars like Aamir Khan and Shahrukh Khan in it and also whether they would have agreed to be a part of this film if it was not Zoya Akhtar directing it. Hmm...I guess, being Javed Akhtar's daughter has it's perks too.
By the way, I really liked the dialogue written by Javed Saab, although half the film is in English. Javed Saab must be really keeping up with the modern times or do I smell a Farhan hand in the dialogue?
Hmm... Zoya Lucky, Lucky Zoya!

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